Why I will never shut up about Sons of an Illustrious Father’s ‘U.S.Gay’.

U.S.Gay is the queer anthem I needed and, at this point, quite frankly deserve. In Sons’ interview with i-D Lilah talks about how this song was born out of the “desire to go into a self-protective cocoon of invisibility” and yet “simultaneously made me want to be more visibly queer, more defiant than ever.” And that is precisely what this song is. As someone who hasn’t yet “come-out” (my family sure as hell don’t know, and the friends that do, do so because either they too are queer or they follow me on an online platform) this song and that reason means everything to me.

When the song first premiered it was about midnight in the U.K. I had just put the dog to bed, and was just doing some last-minute twitter browsing when the little ‘Sons Tweeted..’ notification popped up. In a bid to savour the Moment I read through the interview first, and boy was that a rollercoaster. Reading about the Pulse tragedy again, and each band members reaction to it made me think back to my own response. The shock and the numbness, the questioning of how it even happened. It was a time personally, when I was just starting to recognise that I wasn’t heterosexual, I had started using the bisexual label and hell I even came out to a friend by telling her I’d had the biggest crush on her. Everything felt great, and then it really really didn’t. So reading the words of Lilah and Josh and Ezra really made me feel all of that again but with the comforting knowledge from the aftermath that the queer community will always look out for and be there for each other.

And then I listened to the song. Oh boy, did I listen. Those lyrics man, those lyrics! They really struck a chord. There’s been quite a few people on twitter describing this song as our new ‘anthem’ and it’s really not hard to hear why. That first line “if i don’t die tonight, i’m gonna dance until i do” and “if you not too afraid, I wanna dance with you” okay cool, this is going to be an emotional one, strap yourself in. When Ezra comes in with “i want fag tattooed in red on my forehead, a revolution in my bed” I am goooooooone. Queue the tears my friends, I was sobbing my lil heart out. I don’t know whether to be dancing around the room or to be shouting at the top of my lungs (into the pillow ‘cos don’t wanna wake the parents y’know), so I end up with a weird ugly mixture of all of the above. And there’s that “want to be more visibly queer” feeling, all I wanted to do at that point was get up and announce to the family ‘Okay so i’m queer, know you know’. Alas I didn’t, but then that’s because of reasons. Three and a half hours I stayed up listening to that song, watching that amazing, perfect, stunning music video and watching everyone else’s reaction to it. To me, this song is the world. And still, every-time I listen to U.S.Gay I get that same rush of emotions as if it was the first.

Sons of an Illustrious Father were the first band that helped me to be truly proud of my sexuality and for that I will be eternally grateful. So if you guys do end up seeing this, Lilah, Josh and Ezra, from the bottom of my heart thank you for everything you have done, are doing and will continue to do.

So much love,
Jamie
xXx

U.S.Gay is released on May 19th and you can get it over here!

 

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